Looking for pirate puns and jokes that are pure comedy treasure? Our 840+ best pirate puns & jokes for a treasure of laughter in 2025 will have you shouting “Yo-ho-ho!”
Whether you’re planning a themed party, need hilarious captions, or just want to sprinkle some swashbuckling humor into your day, these jokes are fresh, funny, and updated for 2025.
From clever one-liners to laugh-out-loud quips, this collection will make sure you never run out of pirate humor.
Get ready to sail into laughter—no map needed to find this treasure!
Pirate Puns Dirty
- 🏴☠️ Are ye a treasure chest, because I’d love to dig deep and see what’s hidden inside
- 🦜 That’s not a cannon, it’s just me happy to see ye
- 🏴☠️ Call me a shipwreck, because I’m going down
- ⚓ You make me hornier than a kraken in heat
- 🏝️ I’ve got me peg leg, but I’d rather use me real one with you
- 🏴☠️ Let’s navigate the curves of your coastline tonight
- 🌊 You got more booty than a sunken Spanish galleon
- 🦜 I may only have one eye, but it’s all on you
- 🏴☠️ Let me hoist your sails with my wind
- 🍑 Be me wench and I’ll swab your deck all night
- 🏝️ X marks the spot, and it’s right on your lips
- 🔥 You light my cannon every time I see you
- 🏴☠️ I’ve got a treasure that needs unlocking
- ⛵ Let’s turn this cabin into our love boat
- 🦜 I promise not to plunder… unless you beg
Pirate Puns One Liners
- ⚓ I’m just here to steal your heart and maybe a ship or two
- 🏴☠️ I’m hooked on you like a pirate to his rum
- 🦜 I pillaged the seas but found treasure in your eyes
- 🏝️ I’m just a sailor in a sea of love
- 🌊 Let’s make waves together
- 🏴☠️ You’re the reason I raise me mast
- ⚓ I used to sail solo, till I found you
- 🦜 My love for you be deeper than Davy Jones’ locker
- ⛵ Can I anchor in your heart tonight
- 🍹 You’ve got me more twisted than a bottle of rum
- 🏝️ Let’s escape to an island and play pirates
- 🏴☠️ Arrr you single, because I’m lookin’ for a mate
- 🔥 You’re hotter than the Caribbean sun
- 🦜 I’m here for a good plunder, not a long voyage
- 🏴☠️ Me heart beats faster than a chase on the open sea
Short Pirate Puns
- 🏴☠️ Yo ho, you had me at arrr
- ⚓ Hooked on you
- 🦜 Talk flirty to me, matey
- 🏝️ Booty-ful, just like you
- 🌊 Sailed straight into love
- 🍹 Rum-mantic vibes only
- ⛵ Plundered my heart
- 🏴☠️ You mast be kidding
- 🦜 Kraken me up
- ⚓ Let’s avast and cuddle
- 🏝️ I’ve got cabin fever… for you
- 🏴☠️ First mate of my heart
- 🍑 That’s one fine booty
- 🦜 Anchored in affection
- 🌊 Waves of desire
Pirate Puns for Kids
- 🏴☠️ What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrr!
- ⚓ Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his arrrrrticulation
- 🦜 What kind of socks do pirates wear? Arrrrgyle
- 🍬 Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore
- 🏝️ How much did the pirate pay for his hook? An arm and a leg
- 🦜 What do pirates eat for lunch? Arrr-tichokes
- 🏴☠️ Why are pirates so mean? Because they arrr what they arrr
- 🧁 What’s a pirate’s favorite cookie? Ships Ahoy
- 🎨 How do pirates decorate? With arrrt
- 🏴☠️ What’s a pirate’s favorite subject? Arrrrithmetic
- 🦜 Where do pirates park their ships? In the harrrrrbor
- 🏝️ Why did the pirate quit his job? He couldn’t arrrticulate his goals
- 🏴☠️ What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise? The plank
- 🍕 What’s a pirate’s favorite pizza topping? Arrrrtichokes
- 🧭 Why did the pirate wear a coat? Because he had cold arrrms
Best Pirate Puns
- ⚓ You stole my heart faster than a pirate raid
- 🏴☠️ You must be gold, because everyone’s after you
- 🌊 Your love is deeper than the ocean
- 🦜 You’ve got a voice that makes sirens jealous
- 🏝️ We go together like rum and a stormy night
- 🍑 That’s some premium-grade booty
- 🏴☠️ My anchor dropped the moment I saw you
- ⚓ You had me at yo ho
- 🦜 We arrr meant to be
- 🌊 I’m just a pirate looking for his treasure
- 🏴☠️ This heart be under your command
- 🍹 You’re more intoxicating than a bottle of grog
- 🏝️ You complete me compass
- ⛵ I’d sail the seven seas for your smile
- 🦜 Be me parrot and sit on me shoulder forever
Sexy Pirate Puns
- 🏴☠️ You make my mast stand tall
- ⚓ Let’s drop anchor and see where it goes
- 🦜 Mind if I board your vessel
- 🌊 Let’s make waves in the captain’s quarters
- 🏝️ I want to plunder your treasure chest
- 🍑 I’ve got a cannon and it’s ready to fire
- 🏴☠️ You’re my forbidden island
- ⚓ I’d get marooned with you anytime
- 🦜 Let’s raise our sails… and the temperature
- 🌊 This pirate wants to explore every cove
- 🏝️ Take me below deck, captain
- 🔥 Your love be hotter than molten gold
- 🏴☠️ You’re a treasure I’d never bury
- ⚓ I want to tie the knot… literally
- 🦜 The only booty I need is yours
Dirty Pirate Puns
- 🏴☠️ I’ve got me sword ready for battle
- ⚓ Let’s sail into some naughty waters
- 🦜 That plank’s not the only thing I’ll be walking tonight
- 🌊 Your curves be smoother than the high tide
- 🏝️ Let’s navigate the night, no maps needed
- 🍑 You make me want to swab more than the deck
- 🏴☠️ My ship’s ready to dock at your harbor
- ⚓ This be a love mutiny
- 🦜 I’ll be your captain… in every position
- 🌊 Let’s make the seas roar
- 🏝️ I want to search your forbidden isles
- 🔥 I be burnin’ with desire
- 🏴☠️ I’ll give ye a pearl necklace, if ye arrr ready
- ⚓ The tide’s risin’… just like me
- 🦜 This pirate’s full of secrets and stamina
Funny Pirate Puns
- 🏴☠️ I told my parrot a joke, now he’s cracking up
- ⚓ I’m a pirate – I sea what I want
- 🦜 I be the reason the rum’s always gone
- 🏝️ I tried pirate yoga – now I’m stuck in plank pose
- 🌊 I asked the ocean for advice, it just waved
- 🏴☠️ I’m not a captain, but I know how to steer things
- 🍹 Rum + pirate = fun
- 🦜 I told the treasure a joke, but it was too deep
- ⚓ Pirate dating tip: Always bring your own booty
- 🏝️ I threw my compass out – love has no direction
- 🏴☠️ I’ve got a sea-cret crush
- 🌊 I sea you’ve fallen for me
- 🦜 I’m all about that base… and that boat
- ⚓ I don’t always pillage, but when I do, it’s for snacks
- 🏴☠️ Aye’m funny and I know it
Horrible Pirate Puns
- 🏴☠️ I sea what you did there, and I arrrm not impressed
- ⚓ I’m a wreck – a shipwreck
- 🦜 I told a pirate joke… it bombed like cannon fire
- 🌊 These puns are shore-ly bad
- 🏝️ I arrsked a question and got silence
- 🏴☠️ Me love life? More cursed than the Black Pearl
- 🍹 I asked for grog, got a shrug
- 🦜 My parrot flew away with me pride
- ⚓ Can’t anchor a date these days
- 🏝️ I’ve been ghosted worse than a sunken ship
- 🏴☠️ I tried to flirt, she mutinied
- 🌊 These puns make even the kraken cry
- 🦜 Arrrgh! That joke sank fast
- ⚓ I be alone in me love boat
- 🏴☠️ I treasure you… but the feeling’s marooned
Conclusion
Whether you’re searching for a laugh, a clever one-liner, or some cheeky wordplay, these pirate puns deliver humor straight from the high seas.
From funny and flirty to downright dirty, there’s a pun here for every kind of scallywag.
So hoist the sails, grab your grog, and let these jokes be the wind in your humor’s sails!
